by C
I probably should’ve made this my first or second post, but it got put off so I’m doing it now. Whenever I refer to the “rules” this is what I’m talking about. We all know that there are unspoken rules of our society, it’s a feminist’s job to acknowledge these rules and try to get rid of them because it’s my belief that these rules are oppressive and impossible to follow. Since I’m big on simplicity and being direct, I thought it would be nice to have all these rules in one nice little place for all to see. These are the cultural mores (in order of importance and most serious consequences) for women:
Beauty:
- You must fit the current idea of beauty.
- You must be skinny, but only in the right places (no “thunder thighs”, “muffin top”, or flabby belly, but chest and ass have to be disproportionately larger)
- You must not have any blemishes or marks that make you look unique in anyway.
- You must be hairless except for your head and eyebrows, that hair is very important.
- You must be white.
- Your body must be “toned”.
- Your facial features must be child-like (big eyes, tiny nose, rosy cheeks, full lips)
- You must look effortless, as if you’ve attained your beauty naturally.
Relationships and Marriage:
- You must be concerned with marriage or a long term relationship, this is very important.
- You must be in a relationship.
- You must be straight (exception: homosexuality is okay if done in front of a male for his pleasure)
- You must want children.
- You must be “naggy”, bitchy, or moody.
- His pleasure is first, yours is only a convenience, it’s important you understand this.
- You are a natural caregiver, there are no exceptions.
Behavior:
- You must act feminine.
- Not only must you act feminine, but if you act masculine there will be serious consequences.
- You must act subservient.
- You must not be aggressive.
- You must act clueless at least once in awhile.
- You must be friendly and polite.
- You must say “sorry” on a regular basis even though you may not have done anything wrong.
- You must not genuinely like sports.
- You must smile.
- You must giggle.
- You must not do drugs or drink excessively.
- You must not try too hard or look as if you’re trying.
Other:
- You must like chocolate. (I mean really like chocolate)
- You must not pay for meals when in the presence of a man.
- You must have at least one childish obsession like Hello Kitty or Dora the Explorer.
- Your career must not be physical or a masculine associated job and if it is don’t expect to get a fair paycheck. (By masculine I mean any job that puts you in a position of power)
- Vaginas are gross and talking in positive terms about vaginas will have serious consequences.
Since I’m not a man and haven’t experienced that life I can’t put their rules up here, that just wouldn’t be genuine. So feel free to add your own rules in the comments if your a male because I know guys have rules too and not those stupid fucking ones like “Man Rules” that talk about how you can’t take pictures at a bachelor party, or say gay things when you’re working out. I’m sure these rules are going to be under constant revision and will constantly be growing so check back often.
